Rick Pitino to Jersey Shore

Published February 15, 2010

By GORDON TAYLOR

There may be mutual interest between Louisville basketball coach Rick Pitino and the New Jersey Nets after all. Pitino denied any such interest to the saps at ESPN, but to BOTG he said a deal was “imminent” and that we needed to keep our mouths shut, capisce?

Soon to be Nets owner Mikhail Prokhorov said there was never any doubt that Pitino was his man.

“In mother Russia we look for a man like Reek for leadership. In my veellage Reek would control all of the vodka and potatoes,” Prokhorov said in a heavy Russian accent. “Except if someone tried to extort me there wouldn’t be any authorities involved… If you catch my drift.”

Pitino explained to us off the record (something that matters little to us) why he is denying his interest.

“The job doesn’t open up until April, I tell you now that I’m interested, and boom, I’m a lame duck coach and we start losing; and let me tell you this, losing coaches don’t get to have sex in restaurants after hours,” Pitino explained.

Pitino has gone as far as to contact the “Jersey Shore” creators with interest in making appearances on the show.

“Hey, I’ll be in the area. I think it’ll be great,” Pitino said of the Shore. “First thing I’m going to do is lay down a full court press to get Snookie on a table.”

Pitino, a member of the Italian American sports hall of fame, is still unsure about nicknames for the show, but is kicking around ideas.

“There’s already a ‘Situation’ and ‘J-wow.’ I could be ‘Rowdy Rick’ or ‘Pitino the Pipe Layer.’ It’s a work in progress. All I know is that I want to be involved with such a good group of young Italian Americans.” Pitino said.

Final Note: MTV could do wonders with Pitino and Sooki both on board.